The park

Today I dared take Sadie to the park.  I don't take her often, so this was a pretty big deal.  Her counts are up, and she's had a good break from chemo, so I thought this was as good a time as ever.

I'm sure the other mom's think I'm crazy the way I hover around her, but who cares as long as I keep her from falling.  I set her down at the top of a slide and let her go down, then she climbs back up the stairs to me and we do it again.  Today, Sadie took a quick detour though.  She went down the slide, then decided she wanted to go explore a pond in the park.  The pond is drained, there's no water, but it's pretty steep with rocks at the top and concrete at the bottom.  In just the time it took me to hurry down the slide to help her, she had tumbled in. 

I didn't actually see the fall, but one second she was there, and the next second I looked, she wasn't.  All I saw were 3 older boys with eyes wide open staring at the bottom of this pond area.

My heart just about jumped out of my chest.  I ran over to find her sprawled out at the bottom crying.  (I hate those images.  Ones that never leave your mind.)  I hopped down and scooped her up and looked her over.  She had three big goose eggs on the side of her head.  I don't know how she fell or where she hit, but her head looks awful. 

Needless to say, I rushed her home to put ice on it and called the doctors.  I think she's okay, but we ordered another set of labs to be drawn so we know where her platelets are. 

Poor little Sadie's reaction is what I wanted to document. 
When I told her we were going home:  "No Mommy!  I'm okay!  It'll go away!  No! No!" 

And of course she fought me about the ice.  Afterwards, begging me to take her back to the park: "I'm sorry mommy.  I won't do it again.  I promise I won't fall." 

I tried to explain that she wasn't in trouble and it was just an accident.  I told her it scares me when she falls and I just need to keep her safe.  Her response made me laugh:  "I know mom, but you can't!"  That's the truth.