Looking Back

This photo was taken soon after we'd been released from our initial hospital stay, and while still in the Induction phase.  See how my mom is holding Sadie?  Doesn't look very affectionate right?   But that's how Sadie wanted to be held.  She did NOT want to be touched or cuddled.  I am so glad that phase is behind us.  I am so happy with where we are today.   I'm sure two years from now I'll be saying that same thing.

I think back to the day she was diagnosed and the immediate ER trip following.  How my heart ached and tears just weren't enough.  I am so happy that is all behind us.  So happy with where we are today.

 

P.S.  Andrew was so bored in the hospital yesterday! 5 hours of his D.S. and Despicable Me and watching blood drip into Sadie's port.  I think this was good for him.   He had the option to stay and play with a friend, but chose the hospital instead.   It'll be interesting to see what he chooses next time.   Evan on the other hand, had a blast shooting guns with his friend Dallin and dodging adoring looks from Dallin's little sister.  I love it when my boys get to do boy things.  Thank you Chad and Cherisse!

Day of Chemo

Sadie spent the day at the hospital again (with Dave this time.)  She received Intrathecal Methotrexate (into her spinal fluid), VinCRIStine into her port, and Pegaspargase shots into her legs. 
Her hemoglobin was 7.2, and they normally give her a unit of blood if it's below 8.  But, Pegaspargase is highly reactive and blood is highly reactive, so they won't give them both on the same day.  This means we'll be back in tomorrow so she can get her unit of blood.  (I think I'm going to try bringing the boys with me and see how that goes.)

The exciting news is no more chemo at home for the next two weeks!  No more refusing to give her food or drink because the Mercaptopurine pill has to be given in the evening AND two hours after eating/drinking and half hour before eating/drinking.  No more "pokes" at home!  It's not really a poke, but the medicine stings as it goes in, so Sadie calls it a "poke."  (It's actually injected into a subcutaneous catheter inserted in her arm.)  I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be off those for two weeks!  She will go into the hospital once a week for Chemo and once a week for lab draws, but at home, we can leave her alone for the most part.  Just keep her feeling well with anti-nausea and Miralax meds.

With it being Winter break and all, I've been tempted to take the kids somewhere during the day.  But her ANC is mid 500s, and going down.  Won't be going anywhere with crowds that's for sure!  A good thing about spending the first month in the hospital is that Evan and Andrew understand how much we DO NOT want Sadie to get sick.  We DO NOT want her back in the hospital.  They understand, and we are finding ways to have fun at home.  (Pretty easy with all their new toys keeping them busy!)

First E.R. Trip

I spent the day in the ER with Sadie.  Not exactly what any of us had planned for our day after Christmas. 

Sadie was dehydrated.  We couldn't get her to drink and she wasn't peeing, so a call to the doctor, and we're heading into the ER. 

I knew this day would come, and I learned a lot on this first time around.  (For example, pack food.  It could be a lot longer than expected.)  I also learned inspiration will come as to who to call to watch the boys.  I am learning to ask for help and to rely on others.  And I can't tell you how thankful I am for friends willing to help us out.

Sadie is going to be fine.  The next two years will be rough, but she'll come out okay.  Andrew, I'm worried about.  He thinks I'm sending him away every time I take Sadie in.  He doesn't understand why he can't come too.  I could use some advice and inspiration here.

But we did it.  We survived our first emergency trip to the E.R.  Thank you Jarvis family! 

Sadie

Sadie threw up tonight.  I guess she's not immune to all side effects.  Shucks!

Here's the latest. 
Thursday she had another IT.  It was a short visit to the hospital, in fact she was home by 10:30 AM.  That night she had a hard time sleeping.  She kept waking up with a horrible cough, a mucusy cough that seemed to hurt.  She wouldn't take a bottle.  No fever though!  Turns out it's probably sores in her throat causing the pain and mucus.  Another side effect of low counts.

Tonight the coughs turned into vomiting.  We gave her some anti-nausea medicine and hope that will do.  Right now she is sitting on my lap watching Sesame Street and Dave took three loads of dirty sheets and blankets down to be washed.

Oh, she also has a runny nose!  But, no fever!  We want her home for Christmas!

P.S. Yes, I know she is 21 months and still taking a bottle. I was just starting to wean her when she was diagnosed.  It was such a comfort at the hospital and an easy way to get liquids in her, that we jumped right back into it.  Someday I will wean her, maybe by 2.

Found this little gem from last year.

This was taken at my parents house almost exactly one year ago.

Tough Little Cookie!

Sadie is handling her treatments incredibly well! She is one tough little girl and I am completely impressed! Today we went to the elementary school to play. (That's where the photos were taken.)

It's about time I try to catch up on this blog. Coming off the steroids was not comfortable. She was achey and needed Tylenol once during the night so she could sleep, and again during the day so she was comfortable. But by Sunday, she was back to her happy cheerful self! It had been a month since we had seen our little Sadie like that! It's so nice to have her off the steroids!

We had one good, happy day, and then Monday the port went in. She had a really hard time coming out of anesthesia to the point they actually had to sedate her again so she'd calm down. But her body's healing around the port really well and they actually accessed it for the first time on Thursday. Monday we also had our consultation with the Oncologists to discuss her next phase. That was a little overwhelming. A few new bits of info I learned:

• Sadie's treatments will continue for about 2.5 years.
• Sadie is classified as Standard Risk. (Not high, not low.) She'll be getting the standard treatments. However, they split the standard risk category into 3 sub categories. Standard risk High, Standard risk Low, and Stand risk. Because they saw Leukemia cells in her blood on day 15, she is classified as Standard Risk High. This means a little more Chemo and treatments than the others. But....better to get a little more than she needs, than not enough. We do not want to repeat this again!
• This middle phase, (after Induction and before maintenance,) is split into 5 phases. Rather than bore you with the details, it seems like in general they alternate between 2 months of intense treatments, then 2 months of less treatments, then intense, then not intense, over the next 10 months.

Thursday was her first day of the "Intensified Consolodation" phase which lasts 8 weeks. Dave took work off and spent the entire day in the hospital with her. I did the mom thing at home with Andrew and Evan. She was given 4 different types of Chemo in four different ways. She was put under again for the I.T. (into her spinal fluid), her port was accessed for Chemo thru there, they placed a subcutaneous catheter in her arm to administer the 3rd form (Dave and I will be giving her this at home,) and we were sent home with a pill form to give her every night.

Every thursday for the next 5 weeks, Sadie will be in the hospital under anesthesia for IT Chemo. Most of the other chemos will be given at home. Every Monday she will be in for a clinic visit. There are other days we will be going in as well...I actually mapped it all out on our calendar, but I'll spare you the details. It's a lot to get our brains wrapped around, but we're getting there. One day and week at a time.

Andrew and Evan have been incredible with her. They make her laugh and feel normal. I think because of the bad days, it makes the good days and happy moments so much more enjoyable. We are thrilled to see her up and walking and playing like nothing was wrong.

She is one tough little cookie!

Side note: The form of Chemo she was given thru her port can be hard on her kidneys and bladder hence the long day at the hospital receiving IV fluids and monitoring. We're supposed to change her diaper every 2 hours to watch for blood or signs of problems. We also have to make sure she is drinking lots of liquids. It's hard to explain or convince a 1.5 year old why she has to drink her bottle.

The End of the Induction Phase!!

Thursday was the last day of Sadie's Induction Phase.

The Oncologist called tonight with results from the bone marrow aspirate. No Leukemia cells found!

Here's my take on the Induction phase:

Yes, there was Chemo (four different types). Yes there was anesthesia and the picc-line and many, many blood draws. Yes, there was the long hospital stay, the life-saving units of blood and platelets, the antibiotics and praying for her ANC to go up. But then there were the Steriods! Those nasty steriods and their nasty side-effects! That's what has impacted me the most from the Induction phase. Sadie's ravenous appetite and crazy weight gain. (Honestly, I don't know if her little body could have taken much more!) The doctors keep reassuring us the weight gain is normal and due to the steroids; that she will lose the appetite and the weight during the next phase....but we can't help but worry as we watched her swell up. I hesitated to post the pictures.

Here is Sadie on Day 7.                                 

 Here she is on Day 29.

I hate those steroids.  But because they'll help cure our little girl, we faithfully gave them to her... every. single. dose. (Important note: The steroid's job is to suppress the production of white blood cells, which happen to be what the A.L.L. cells are...bad, fast growing white blood cells. The combination of Chemo killing fast growing cells and the Steroids slowing production of white blood cells is what the Induction Phase was all about.) And it seems to have worked! Thursday morning was her last day of this intense Induction Phase. Hurray!

Now onto the next phase. We're not positive what that has in store, but we'll meet with the Oncologists on Monday to discuss the treatments and the plan. What we do know, is it involves high doses of Chemo, lots of nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and just plain feeling lousy. We can't wait for our Sadie to feel well again.

Appointments

Tuesday was Sadie's first clinic visit since we left the hospital.  All went well, and I'm glad to have it behind us.  The nurses keep saying things like, "You'll see a lot of us, " and "You'll be spending a lot of time here."  Glimpses into what to expect I guess.  Tuesday's visit was simple.  A checkup and exam with the Oncologist then lab draws to see what her numbers look like. 

Thursday (today), Sadie is having another I.T. done (Chemo into her spinal fluid), and the all important bone marrow aspirate.  She will be put under for this.  The results from the bone marrow aspirate will tell us how she's responded to the treatments so far, and will determine what her future treatments are.  We hope and fully expect to find that the Leukemia cells are gone!  Then it would just be keeping her in remission.  It's a big and anxious day.  Dave took her to the appointment this morning at 7:45.  He is so sweet with her.  He completely adores her.  I got Evan to school and am staying home with Andrew.  Divide and conquer.  It's hard not being there with Sadie!

Monday, we go back to have her port put in.  As much as I hate the thought of her being put under again, and I hate to think what her body will go thru to place it, I will be so grateful to have it in.  She hate's bathing with the picc-line because we have to wrap it, the picc-line takes more maintence having to flush it with Heprin every day, and there's a higher risk of infection than with a port.

We also expect to have a consultation with the Oncologists early next week to go over her next phase of treatments.

P.S.  We are both sick to our stomachs.  Dave updated the software on his IPad last night and lost every video and photo he'd taken.  Everything from the hospital, gone.  It makes us sick.  Luckily we emailed some out, so not all is lost. 

Home Sweet Home!

Saturday, the day after I last posted, Sadie's ANC jumped from 231 to 700!  What?!  This was way beyond my expectations!  I know our prayers were heard and that Heavenly Father knew how desperate we were to be together under one roof again. 

Sadie wasn't as excited to go home as I thought she'd be.  It's hard to know what her little mind understands.  I think she really thought her hospital room was our new 'home.'  I told her, "Sadie, we get to go home!"  Her response was "No!" and shaking her head.  Then I said, "Sadie, do you want to go in the car?"  "Yes!" and excitement!

Since then, it's taken a while for us to adjust.  After three and a half weeks in the hospital, the stress of it all was showing.  I've found we all handle change and stress differently.  Evan became bossy and mean.  Andrew became emotional and anxious.  But by Tuesday, we all felt a little more like a happy family.  Sadie laughs more and smiles more.  She sleeps in our room again, and still doesn't sleep well, but she's much happier!

My mom flew home Tuesday afternoon.  I think we've maxed out on help from our moms for a while.  Their families were needing them back home again.  But now our ward family has been amazing and has stepped right in to help.  When people asked what they can do, I kept telling them, "I know I'll need help, I just don't know what yet."  This was true, and still true to some degree.  Most of Sadie's appointments aren't scheduled until the night before so it's hard to plan ahead.  I'm so thankful for our Home Teacher who seemed to know exactly what we needed even before I did.  He has us all organized with carpools and meals and more.  We are surrounded by wonderful people!

It feels so good to be home!  A little surreal, but so nice!

Sadie's ANC

was 231 this morning!Evan is charting the numbers at home.  We're all anxious to be together again as a family!